"Be Yourself"

How many times have you heard people advise you to "be yourself?" Well, some say it as though implying that you should therefore throw all caution to the wind and be as uninhibited and wild as your imagination allows you. But what if the "real you" is that stuck-up, prudish persona?

It should come naturally, this "being yourself" thing. After all, it is like telling a fish to swim, right?

Wrong.

Such parallelisms fail to account for the inherent complexity of a human being. We live in a society, an artificial construct that allows us to coexist with our fellow humans with some written and unwritten rules that keep us from (generally) murdering, raping and enslaving each other. Part of these rules is a social code that prescribes behavior given certain conditions, stimuli etc. We have, in fact, been trained from childhood up to conform to the social code that our elders, family, friends etc. hold in common.

So, having been trained to behave in particular and somewhat predictable patterns (believe you me, society does not condone excessive spontaneity!), our "being ourselves" depends on who said it, where it was said and how we relate to the person who expects us to behave in what he or she considers to be "us." Thus, we either conform or rebel to this set of expectations and norms.

So how do we go about finding who we "really are?"

Do we make lists and catalogue how we should behave given particular situations, and then attempt to deduce the general pattern that weave together these sets of responses or stimuli, and thus come up with this image of "us?" Or we could settle on the general pattern first, and derive the particulars along the way?

Would this really be finally who we are, or would this be another artificial construct, another facade or image of who we really want to be?

William Shakespeare said:

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man."

The Bard did not tell us exactly how; more's the pity.